Post by No Personality on Jan 27, 2012 13:51:13 GMT -5
If the Friday the 13th franchise is the McDonald's of the horror genre (with Halloween being Burger King, inferior but nearly as recognizable, and Nightmare on Elm Street being Wendy's, superior but not as well located), this sequel is their Big Mac. Fattening because the ingredients are overindulgent and flashily gluttonous, but with absolutely zero nutritional value whatsoever. In fact, don't be surprised if this movie's remembered by most 80's movie-fans just because Crispin Glover (Back to the Future) and Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys) are in it. Because we all know true horror movie buffs are rare in the grand scheme of movie discussions and film historians. Most other movie fans pretty much tuned out after the first movie and don't find this franchise very memorable as a whole.
This particular sequel (much moreso than the two preceding it) is obsessed with sex, sleaze, and nudity. And worse yet, with painting sexuality as something oppressive, nasty, and violent. It becomes positively overbearing as characters threaten to kill each other over "girls" (like they're objects and not people) and whine endlessly about not having sex. This is another classic movie where you just want to scream at these people to "SHUT UP!" It's obnoxious how far this movie will go to humiliate a character or try to tease the straight guys in the audience. This kind of movie is very much to blame for the popular stereotype that this genre was about low-grade porn more than great filmmaking, art, and characterization.
As far as gore is concerned- I'm ashamed to say it, but this movie really delivers. It's unfortunate that people think we have to wallow in the ladies' nude wrestling mud pit to get gore this good, but wow. Tom Savini returns after years of insulting the series to do the gore and this is his finest work to date. Savini later hosted the tribute "documentary," His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th- strange thing for someone who resents this franchise to do. But even stranger than that is how he was able to insult Friday the 13th and be proud of something like The Prowler (another Joe Zito skankfest), which couldn't hold a candle to Friday the 13th even in its' most ambitious fantasies!
The characters are basically defined by (and this is typical to Friday the 13th at least after Part II) their sexual experience. Jim (called "Jimbo" as a nickname- though not because he in any way resembles a "bimbo"; that would be too clever for Zito and "screenwriter" - I use the term loosely - Grade-A douchebag Barney Cohen) is played as a nerd because he has a tendancy to become aggressively obsessive (and stalker-ish) with the women he dates. And though he's absolutely gorgeous, adorably vunerable and sensitive, he borders on a doofy loner character. His best friend Ted is the class clown / prankster cliche here because he's a total hornball. He's also the only guy who can't get laid, so of course- he threatens to kill Paul because he dances with the girl he was with earlier in the evening.
On the female side of the out-crowd spectrum, there's Teri- the token prude, twin sister of the slutty Tina. She likes to guzzle down beers with the best of them. But, sex? No way. She'd rather ride her bike home at pitch-black night in the pouring rain (though I don't exactly blame her- by this time her only option was high-as-a-kite dopehead Ted, who is definitely a hot number under normal circumstances but probably smelled worse than fresh puke after smoking those joints). Then there's Sara, the tease. Who won't even strip naked in front of slutty gal-pal Samantha. Of course the movie had to suggest it, though. Again, gotta tease those straight guys. Back then, many horror directors thought only straight guys paid to see horror movies. Like girls and gay guys were totally turned off by fear and violence. But then again, many horror directors aren't interested in making art.
Then you've got your in-crowd: slutty Samantha and her adorable boyfriend Paul (adorable but not nearly as sexy as Jim or Ted, so it doesn't completely make sense that this guy is the guy all the girls want to steal away from Sam), nice guy Doug and nice girl Trish (the only tolerable characters here, though surprisingly they don't end up together), beefy "mysterious stranger" Rob - the type of guy you always wanted but nobody you knew of ever got to put their hands on (I believe the actor who played him became a hit in the soap opera world), and slutty Tina. Uncharacteristic to a Friday the 13th film, the true fiinal heroine is Trish, the one put in the highest number of "She's gonna get it...NOW!" set-ups, and not Sara, the Snow White of this group.
The film separates the characters into 2 groups. One is the "Camp Counselors" group. There is no actual camp in this movie, but you know what I mean. The obvious walking-corpses. The ones who are going to be having sex. The second group is "The Family Unit." Complete with Mother: Mrs. Jarvis, daughter Trish, and horny tween-ager: Tommy, aged around 12. This movie is so damn sleazy, they even turn the kid into a pervert (can we blame Sleepaway Camp, or Little Darlings, for this odious trend? My money's on the latter), spouting lines like "some pack of patutzies, huh?" and jumping on his bed in a highly sexual way. This doesn't even have the campy shock value of a Sleepaway Camp, it's just plain offensive. Nobody is empowered. It's a distraction and a pointless one.
And as though all this weren't bad enough... Jason is horny too! Nearly every time he kills someone, he has to grunt like he's getting off on it. Most notably during the infamous banana scene. Either he's partially getting off or thinks he's a Power Ranger and wants to make a karate sound during every strike. Either way- it's really fucking stupid. Fans of the movie would have you believe it's scarier or more entertaining because it makes Jason more intense. Well, Jason isn't a realistic serial killer. He's a fictional movie character. I frown on almost any attempt to turn a slasher film into an exploitation flick. There are differences between the two, the Friday the 13th series wasn't created for the same audience as I Spit on Your Grave, Maniac, and The New York Ripper were.
This film does have its' moments though. And feels completely different from all 3 Paramount films to come before it and the 4 to come after it. Which- well, it's good to get something different. I never expected (nor necessarily wanted) the original formula to last forever. This sequel in particular benefits from some great daylight scenes (locations that look great in the daylight), especially the scenes with Sara, and the woodland area where Trish's car breaks down. And when none of the "characters" are talking or stripping, Harry Manfredini's score builds up a terrific little creepy alone atmosphere. You feel isolated and the anticipation is great. And, again- the gore. This is a gore lovers treat for sure. Especially the corkscrew and saw / head twist sequences. And Jason inevitably gets it himself pretty bad. Or- good, considering that now I can't stand him anymore.
Additional Thoughts / 2 Years Later:
I remain as in-awe of the movie's continued renaissance with fans as I was when I wrote this original article. But, I also forgot to mention (and man do I hate it when I do that) details like the film's post-montage (because that freaking ruled) opening. Where exactly are we that we find ourselves in a hospital watching a coroner and a nurse get it on when people did nothing but complain that we were wasting our time with Harold and Edna in Part III? I hated the toilet scene too but, what really makes Axel and Nurse Morgan better characters? Nothing. It's their ages. And even then, she's young and sexy and he is mildly handsome and not exactly the most youthful character even though she acts like she's about 22 to match her looks. What makes this scene better; no pooping sound effect? Well, if you take that out of the Harold and Edna scene (and maybe spruce up her dialogue during her "inconsiderate" rant)- you have real atmosphere. With Axel and Nurse Morgan, you have ho'ish closeups of women's thighs and butts on TV and some of the most inane dialogue of the series as well as Lisa Freeman's horrendous, painful theatrics.
It's also a small detail to everyone but me, but I gotta know: does anybody else want to punch the fuck out of that asshole guy with the bullhorn who gets all the ambulances, cop cars, etc(.) to drive away by shouting "okay, boys and girls..."? I'm always glad when the horror genre spares us the "This is MY jurisdiction" cop / detective cliches which plague other genres. So, this feels like something loaned from that school of pointlessness. Except that it's also condescending. Does that dick think he's really hard-edged enough to have the right to say something that stupid? Has he been awake / on the beat too long? Is he on a power trip? By now, you have to be thinking: "WHO CARES?!" Exactly! The movie could have just shot them driving away without adding an extra asshole to the audio mix.
Next on my gripe list, I want to go back to the family unit for a second. Since Trish is the only tolerable character in the film, I was proud of her during the skinny dipping scene for turning Tommy's back to the nudie swimmers. You can view the writing of this article as coming from a bitter older brother but there does seem to be a strange sick thing about the younger sibling following you around and wanting to have your experiences. But life isn't a cartoon, so as much as you might want to, you can't bash their face in with a baseball bat. Tommy and Trish's relationship is only slightly different (than the extreme I compare it to) because Tommy leeches onto Trish only as far as he can get a peep (for example- is it really coincidence that he thought to keep an eye out for Sam to be undressing after he went next door to actually meet her, again tagging along with Trish to do so) and then bitches that he can't be treated like an adult.
I hate films that make a fundamental character mistake to push conflict (dramatic or otherwise). Is it the audience's fault that Tommy is desperate to spy on the older kids because the movie didn't give him anyone his own age to play with yet feels the desperate need to get out and actually have some "mature" experiences? With that in mind, you really have to wonder why the movie makes so many damn references to the fact that Tommy is a boy genius and has all these technical / artistic hobbies that are far too advanced for his age. This clashes drastically with all the adult behavior he's keen to start getting into. Ya know, since he's already the most adult-like adult in the movie (other than, I suppose, his haggy mother). So... why is it there? Just because that's Tom Savini's specialty and because - even though Tommy knows all about how to hook it up all over the house and can fix cars for Christ's sake - kids play video games. This does not give his now pathetically desperate loner character depth or pathos. He's a game playing materialist who wants to get some tail. Why make movies like this again?
No, seriously. It's hardly a commentary of any kind on the 80's. At best, you have a bunch of horror conventions or whatever stuffed together to mock or something. Only the movie takes itself too seriously anyway. So, all this movie is / has going for it is gratuity. Maybe I liked that when I first saw this movie. I was pretty young then. And I guess I thought it was pretty scary back then (but almost anything scared me when I was a tween). I hate to bring up Cohen again (just in general, it makes me feel slimy) but it's clearly his fault. He's a completely unlikable lech / pervert. Why? Because his characters are immature yet he identifies with them and because their motivations are so damn idiotic. There's no reason a horror film can't be highly sexual. But highly sexual + stupid = bad.
There's no sense of parody or poking fun at these conventions, from the counselors (again, I use that as a generic term to describe our late teens / early 20-somethings) to the kids (when the movie gives us kids, a trend that was started by this movie where honestly, I could have done without it because the original formula wasn't exactly perfected by the first 3 times yet those films only brought up children from the past and that was a good strategy). So, anyway, it goes without saying that this batch of characters is easily the most annoying in the original Paramount series of films. And if ever there were one movie in the canon to justify actors' embarrassment after appearing in the franchise, it does seem that this sequel is the hardest to stir up actors willing to talk about it. Coming from someone who owns all the U.S. special edition content / bonus features on the original franchise.
Considering how uninterested this movie is in anything other than throwing a tantrum over not getting laid, and putzing around hoping someone will soon, I'm surprised anyone still talks about this movie. Yet again, this gets all the fanlove. Even though it's barely any more mysterious, leisurely paced, or honestly surprising as the next 3 sequels to come. And yet, still it commands more respect. As I said above only one thing seems to explain it: the gore. Take that out and what do you have? Other than that one element I've harped on enough involving the partygoers (and these are the sorts of people who could really bring Cabin Fever's Deputy Winston parties down in the dumps), and their respective "computers" (another nomination for most mind-numbingly stupid idea in the franchise), is the plight of little Tommy to grow up. Well, the movie's manipulating us, isn't it? By choosing to put him in a house with no father or brother, he becomes "Man" of the house and wants to be pleasured like a man. UG!
I mean, I'd be the first to tell you that kids are pervs too. But as the big brother I was, well, how do I put this delicately? Thinking about whether your kid sibling is following you puts a significant cramp on your own "game." (Hey, the movie started being crude- I'm just following its' rules.) Whatever happened to: wait, kid, your turn will come? Doesn't the sister deserve a little action for herself before she becomes his babysitter? This is of course my cue to say- didn't the other Corey in The Lost Boys eventually let his brother just go do his thing? (Until he started smart-mouthing the old man and, of course, trying to attack him in the bathtub? That's awkward.) Now, as a closer... Same Useless Trivia Fact as before: this movie's video cover was the image for the menu on the Nintendo video game for Friday the 13th (put out in 1989, and comes off even more dated than Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, the last Paramount film also released in 1989).
